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May 21 2018

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i would call the police then papa john himself




ANYWAYS Comic Artists Are Valid In Not Being Able To Draw Feet Cause I Just Tried It And Drew A Fucking Hoof Instead

frankly it’s more concerning when they CAN draw feet. there’s only 1 reason for someone to get really good at that

You Know What! Tea! 

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do you think straight people understand what a mammal is

a hundred years of animations have taught us that no

they’ll tell me to take a biology class cuz im trans and then turn around and put tits on a duck

This has to be one of the funniest bits of internet commentary I’ve ever read






hi as pride month draws near for june reminder that cishet aces/aros are not LGBT and don’t belong in our spaces

And like, just a reminder that people like op are the people I don’t want to share my spaces with.

Every time I see an exclusionist on here and I click their profile they’re like 17 or 19 or maybe 21 at best. 

And that’s fair- it’s not like people that age can’t have opinions or be right, they’re people.

But when I think about how long it took me to work out my own damn sexuality, gender, and all that crap, and how gently I stepped once I realised I was queer, and how much listening to people I did to see who the hell was out there…how much I am STILL learning about people who have different experiences…

…it feels really odd to see people this young being so secure in their belief of who should be excluded from the community. 

Not how to support and include, to help and support, but how to exclude.

Like…being confident in your own sexuality at 19? Fuck yeah, good for you, I’m happy you had a better chance and an earlier start than I did.

But… telling other people they’re not queer enough to be in ‘your’ space?

Your space? Not mine anymore? Huh.

I’m over here at 35 still listening and learning and trying to understand everyone’s perspectives, discovering that sexuality is even more complex and nuanced than I know…and all these people barely out of their teens are talking like they know everything there is to know about being LGBT, ever. Like it’s all been written down, stamped, sealed, confirmed by some Authority.

Mmmm. No. Just… have an ounce of humility. Try gaining some perspective, please.

You haven’t lived long enough to even really listen to real life aces, to really think about what LGBT means. I don’t mean this as an ageist insult, I just really think that this kind of shit deserves TIME- hell I know it deserves time and thought because I am STILL unlearning bad assumptions and behaviours, and STILL meeting people who define themselves outside of the frame that I was once taught meant ‘LGBT’.

And you, a teen raised in a world that’s still pretty fucking homophobic and doesn’t recognise half of what the LGBT community itself has taken years to acknowledge, you think you know it all?

Because you’re online?

While you’re here, read some posts where ace people talk about how they’re treated. Forget semantics for a while: read the experiences.

I’m online too, I have been for some time. Doesn’t make me right, but experience is of some value. Experience in listening to queer people who aren’t quite like me, that is, in trying to understand how I am similar, instead of trying to figure out how they do not belong. In how people rework things, figure out how they can be less harmful, more inclusive, more representative of all those who are marginalised.

See, Q is queer but also often Questioning. It’s still important to let people be Questioning, there is an astounding amount of queerphobia in the world and we are NOT done working out the labels. We may never be.

Not so long ago, the T in lgbt was under question. Bisexuals are still being excluded. 

So I’m being told I don’t matter by people who weren’t even born yet when I realised I wasn’t straight. They’re skipping right over all the reflection and going straight to self-affirmation by exclusion. 

Which, again- if you are born into a world where you never have to question your identity, oh good grief I hope that’s real for everyone some day.

But we’re not there yet, yanno? And I resent being told that after all these years of soul-searching and careful, very careful questioning of whether I belong and how I can be a good member of the community, people arrive so 100% certain of their claim to being LGBT that the first thing they do is try to kick others out.

tl;dr I was here first and I’m not amused.

I was here first and I’m not amused.

such a mood tbh

Just because someone is cisgender and may or may not like sex/ the opposite gender, does not exclude them from the LGBTQA+ community???? If someone is cisgender and heteroromantic but asexual (or aromantic and heterosexual) they are still part of the community because they are a sexuality other than straight up cisgender, heteroromantic, heterosexual. Sorry they’re not “queer enough” for you.

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Lemon Snickers: a many bad things

Citrus High Fructose Corn Syrup Sugar Vesicle: An Arrangement of Deplorable Affairs 

Fruit Candy: Uh-Oh















TIL: Jennifer Lawrence dropped out of middle school and holds neither a high school diploma nor a GED.

via reddit.com

It shows

Like. Why do we hate her exactly? Is it bc she likes attention just like the rest of u losers or?

Because she rubbed her ass on sacred rocks in hawaii, knowing they were sacred, and laughed about it on national tv.

She knew they were sacred and was aware that you are not supposed to sit on them because it’s disrespectful.

“Waving a glass of white wine and at times unable to speak due to laughter, Lawrence said, “one rock that I was butt-scratchin’ on came loose”, prompting a landslide.

“And all the Hawaiians were like: ‘Oh my god, it’s the curse!’” she said, imitating shaking her first at the sky. “And I’m in the corner going, I’m your curse. I wedged it loose with my ass.””

I thought it was because she’s a shitty actress with horrible public opinions and that rock almost killed a guy and damaged the movie equipment.

Yeah that too. It’s all of that.

The thing that really stands out to me is how visibly uncomfortable Chris Pratt was while she was telling the story.

Like he wanted SO BAD to call her out but didn’t want to make a scene on a major interview.

The way he balled up his fist lol his knuckles were white with rage

AFIAK Chris Pratt is a deeply religious Christian so it makes perfect sense he’d be deeply offended by a culture’s sacred ground being disrespected and damaged.

He can empathize first hand with how important holy objects and ground are to religious cultures. 

You don’t have to be religious to understand why what she did was so shitty. Even if that site had no spiritual connotations, even if it was just a bunch of meaningless boulders, what she did was inexcusable. If someone was in my house and rubbed their ass over my lamp, I would kick them out. 

Also I think he lived in Hawaii while he was homeless, which only makes it worse because she was technically also being disrespectful to him.

she also ridiculed a venezuelan reporter, Juan Pablo Fernandez-Feo, who was using his phone to record her answers to his questions

Thank you all for understanding. As a Hawaiian, our land is the most precious thing to us. The rocks were a haiau, a burial site for someone’s ancestors. The fact that she did that doesn’t just insult the culture, it’s insulting the person or people that were buried under those rocks. The Hawaiians put their land above themselves, our state motto is “Ua mau ke ea o ka aina i ka pono”, which means “the life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness.” our land is our life source, if something changes then we all change as a culture. Where I’m going with this is that, the land in Hawaii, from the smallest grain of sand to the largest mountain, is a apart of who we are. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk

So well said. And fuck Jennifer Lawrence.

Remember when Chris Pratt kept cropping her out of photos? Good times









Orbital path of asteroid near miss in 2002. Yah, that’s how close we came to nuclear winter and possible total destruction.

A visitor.

It’s like it’s trying so hard to hit us and it just can’t do it

All I can imagine is every astronomer drinking heavily from 2002-2003 like “There it goes–OH FUCK IT’S COMING BACK”

Thanks moon <3

Moon: YEET

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This isn’t surreal this is high school

And college







On a job application: “What is your preferred name and gender, we value diversity, so be honest.”


I don’t know what this means.  I’ve never filled out a form that said that.

they’re asking you to disclose if you’re transgender. legally, they can’t ask or consider someone’s gender in hiring someone, so they get around it by giving you the option of telling them yourself. if you “volunteer” the information, that’s legal.

its like when they try to figure out if you’re poor by asking if you have “reliable transportation,” hoping that ppl will explain that they dont have a car without actually being asked. things like that.

its a scummy thing to do, especially in this case where theyre presenting it like a “diversity” thing.

^^^^ Never answer those questions honestly if you actually want the job.

My managers have personally told people that anyone who puts anything like that outside of just “male or female” gets their application tossed immediately.
Btw if an interviewer asks if you have reliable transportation, don’t say anything but “yes I do” that’s it!!!!! Don’t say another word don’t say you take the bus or walk or bike or get rides or uber don’t say anything!!!!! Just say yes and that is it they cannot require any sort of proof of transportation.

Shit. I didn’t know that about transportation but I'mma start doing it now.

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everyone in the household uses a different color marker to write on the kitchen whiteboard

But who were they calling a cat



the fact that a post about my cat was the first thing on my dash when i opened this app is so disorienting

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this covers the hole but it’s really obstructive and ruins the aesthetic of the bowl
I’m considering making a decoy bowl now

All cats ruin the aesthetics if it doesn’t revolve around them.

related: aesthetic cat bed that has only been used 2 times in the past 2 years. they prefer to sleep in Amazon boxes

@pancakeke you should put the amazon box inside the aesthetic cat bed. Maybe they’ll be more inclined to use it that way

if this works I will lose my damn mind


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Bigfoot Footage Stabilized

me walking to my room after someone makes fun ov somethin im insecure about



Me: *is feeling bad*
Also me: *can’t think of a way to make it funny*
Brain: can’t talk about it then

this is…. meta as fuck

May 20 2018

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You, an intellectual: 9+7=16

Me, with ADHD: if you take 1 from 9 and give it to 7 thats 8+8 and 8x2 is 16

Someone, usually a Teacher: NOT LIKE THAT YOU HEATHEN

This is literally how I would have done it

9 is a hungry bitch and takes one from 7, making it 10+6=16


That’s an ADHD thing?!

This isn’t specifically an ADHD thing—it’s a form of mental math, and something that is now being encouraged in (Canadian) curriculum!


Me too

I was homeschooled and I STILL got in trouble

My mom was like, “you can’t do it like that!!” And little third-grade me was like, “but I’m right?”

*whispered* pssssst. it’s encourage in US curriculum too. guess what, those awful, horrible, no good Common Core Standards y’all are all so quick dismiss? Based around this kind of math (source: I’m a public school math teacher).

Thank you, I’m absolutely gonna go tell my mom this right now so I can have vindication like fifteen years after the fact





let’s play Did I Always Have That Personality Trait Or Did I Absorb It From A Character?

Bonus round: wait one fucking second isn’t that something my friend says and now I’m saying it too

and then there’s my favorite: Did I Get That From My Friend Or Did They Get It From Me?

Don’t forget my personal favorite: I Started Saying That Ironically And Now I Say It All The Time


me: *lowkey wishes people take more photos of me in a poetic way*

also me: *smacks anyone pointing a camera in my direction*

May 19 2018

Things Inside of Me:


- Lungs
- Blood
- Air Heads Mystery Flavor (x23)




i will kill you: basic threat; overused; lacks serious weight

pee your pants: up-and-coming; respectable; unexpected

i will pee your pants: full of the promise of grief and terror; absolutely devastating

Your pants can’t wait for my pee

And here we have it, the most terrifying sentence in the universe

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